Step 1 to self focus - get yer brush out it's time to tidy up!

OK then poppet let’s get started...

Compare and despair can’t keep a hold of us if we’re free from distraction and in a place of mindful awareness with the intention to make some changes, or as I like to say, ‘choose again’.

Our devices – phones, iPads, laptops etc. can be a constant cause of distraction and pre-occupation and via the power couple of social media and technology we can often find ourselves in a state of compare & despair where we’re exposed to countless sources of content to benchmark ourselves against via our own made up metrics.

So, this means at any given time our social media channels are throwing up posts, pictures, check ins and tags that can act as little nudges of nuisance, chipping away at our self confidence, affecting our perceptions of others and creating feelings of jealousy, frustration, apathy and confusion. Not cool!

The way to arrest these destructive feelings and develop a fresh, empowered mindset and also tool ourselves up to create our OWN version of success is to take control and ownership of what we let into our feeds. How?

Treat your social feeds like a house party!

Say what?!..

 ...If you were having a house party would you send the first invites to the most obnoxious, attention-seeking people that you met once a few years ago?

...Or perhaps to the people at work with the most offensive, extreme political views?

...Would you want all of that lovely food and drink to be consumed by your passive aggressive friend that just has to put you down?

...Or your ex partner's current model like partner?

 ...Or perhaps get caught in the corner with your cousin that never stops talking about her kids/ partner/ single status/ hard life/ healthy lifestyle/ pet/ insert whatever thing here?!

 I'm guessing the answer might be 'HELL NO LUCY!' to the above!

 If you're like me you'd much rather fill your home and dance away in the kitchen with good friends, people that inspire, excite and educate you and yet challenge you in all the right ways. The type of person that shares great content, stories, tips and funny anecdotes and respect the views of others? The sort that only one or two mentions of their kids/pets/gluten intolerance will do?

ACTION STEP: Go through each of your social media feeds in turn and unfollow and hide all of the content that does not make you feel good and contribute to your feeds being a fun, interesting and chilled place to hang out.

This does not have to be a ‘big friend cull’ announced with a fanfare post congratulating those that have ‘made the cut’ (unless that’s your thing and in that case go for it.)

It can be more gentle and considered than that – you’re doing it for YOU after all so that means only YOUR rules apply and remember, opting out of someone’s social media feeds is not the same of binning the person and your genuine, offline relationships. It simply means you’re controlling the digital content to the benefit of your real relationships with other, and more importantly, yourself.

FURTHER ACTION: Nobble your notifications!

Go into the your smartphone and social media apps and review ALL of your notifications. Do you really need to follow all of the updates from that celebrity? Does it truly benefit you to get a screen bubble pop up every time you’re tagged on Instagram? Is it necessary to be the first to view THAT girls holiday pictures?

Those beeps and toots and buzzes on our phones and tablets can actually This not only acts as a time sucker where we can lose hours to mindless scrolling, but the notifications keep us concentrating on other people and what we THINK they’re doing which is a huge root of ‘compare and despair’

FINAL ACTION: Conscious creation - get the house party happening!

Based on the house party vibe principle – add, follow and subscribe to all the people, brands and things that make you feel good. Have you a hobby you want to start or do more of – seek out those that share your passion! Who are the bloggers and comedians that make your smiles and LOL – get them in to bring some chuckles your way! What are the brands or public figures that you aspire to connect with? Give them the chance to inspire you regularly and appear in your feed



  • Review and refresh everything that appears in your feeds
  • Manage your notifications to turn down the distractions
  • Welcome in and consciously curate what has a place in your feed
  • Use the hashtag #comparisonfree across your social media feeds and share your experience of your self-focus challenge