WELL, congrats on another year rotating around the sun my love! We made it.
2014 is about to be chalked off - just one more box on my iCal to go and it'll be time to see what the New Year brings and get my head around what I'm going to make happen even if I don't yet know how. But this isn't about me - wrap your eyes and ears around your screen for a few minutes because I need to say something to you.
At this time of year there is a wave of "New Year, New You" messages that, IMHO, are as meaningful as last year's regurgitated words. What does that actually MEAN? And why is that skincare brand saying it to me?
Unoriginal, empty, vague and totally miss the point about this time we have to reflect and re-think where we're at. The full rant is here but if you'll allow me to nutshell it down for you:
- You don't need to shed your skin or be 'fixed' (you're perfectly imperfect and so am I)
- You don't need to become someone or something else all together
- That cleanse, membership, diet, new handbag is not going to soothe and serve you past that one purchase is not the single specific answer
- You are not broken, wrong, failing, a mistake or a mess (even though sometimes it feels like it)
YOU HAVE EVERYTHING IT TAKES RIGHT NOW, SIPPING THAT TEA, STANDING IN THAT QUEUE OR SITTING ON YOUR SOFA SCROLLING YOUR IPAD TO CREATE THE LIFE YOU WANT *AND* YOU'LL DO IT WITH EXACTLY WHAT YOU ALREADY HAVE.
"NEW YEAR NEW YOU" IS BULLSHIT. A NEW YEAR **BEING YOU** IS WHERE IT'S AT.
Sorry, I'm a bit breathless from shouting that!
Quick fixes and habits appeal and connect with us at this time of year if we don't feel in control, like we're there yet (wherever 'there' is) and/or we don't like ourselves very much - whether that's what we see in the mirror or who we think we 'are' in the world (but I'm not going all esoteric on your ass babe, don't worry.)
Why we try a quick fix or are attracted to a shiny idea, like a lifestyle magpie, is because we might have some personal things to sort out. And you'll have an idea of what those things are specific to you - they will have been flicking you and tripping you up over the course of the year... there's a really good chance they're not dawning on you just now.
For example, I have never woken up and thought "hold on a sec, I'm actually really unhappy in this relationship"... but I have experienced those nudges and tense moments of "I think this guy is being a bit of a d*ck to me" at numerous intervals over the course of that failed fling. The signs are always there.
Your own 'stuff' will have shown up for you whether it's feeling jealous of what you see on your social media feeds, having a bit of a cry on the drive to work, avoiding the mirror at home, being bitchy about your friends because *that* girl just seems to have it all worked out, you may have made some rushed choices in your work or relationships with the best will in the world that it will be 'fine' or 'work itself out'... and it hasn't.
These signs and hints we may have missed or 'sleep walked' through, were chances to take back control and be aware of our own power to create the life we want for ourselves, personally and professionally.
Well, I'm sweeping in with the final lap of honour opportunity for you to do just this. No expensive journal required - no three hours needed to sit down to do it 'properly'.
These worksheets are similar to those I use with my life coaching clients and I'm giving them away to you to help you get a head start for yourself and burst open a new view on the life you want to live now and onwards, on your terms.
Print it out if you like and scribble lots of notes on it or have it open on your laptop/phone screen and write your answers long hand in your favourite scruffy notepad.
Meet me in the comments below to tell me your learnings and where you're going to be putting your energy in 2015!
Some hints to complete it:
- Think over the seasons of 2014 to help you get broad and deep on your specific summary - what happened in the Winter, Spring, Summer, Autumn and these final months of 2014?
- Try no to get caught up in the arbitrary goals you *think* you need to tick off because that's what you see your friends going after - think in feelings about what you want too. Sure, you deserve to buy a flat... but how do you want to feel in your relationship? Safe, equal, sexy? You can't buy those things on Pret-A-Porter although I love a good splurge too, don't get me wrong!
- Be honest with yourself - nobody else has to see this so get it all down. Even if you write it down as a code that only you understand about not apologising about that thing when you know you should have in the Summer!
- Declare your intentions even if it's just to me in a Facebook message, a tweet or email (firstname.lastname@example.org)
- Know you didn't fail - when you know better, you do better and by even doing this exercise you're doing better
- There are no wrong answers - if you feel it then it's real. Again, be honest with yourself about the wins and woes
- Nearly getting something still counts as positive - this all about progress, baby!
(Gifs from: http://giphy.com/gifs/downton-abbey-rude-lady-grantham-10rpRQVFw2Qf28// https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/shocked-gif)