The thing about being in this rapidly growing and expanding self-development industry is that new people are sharing their perspectives every day and new ways of thinking are continuously coming our way. I just lap. It. Up! For me, more is always more :)
As you may know, in the last 6 months or so I’ve moved across the country, set up Proof and I’m getting married in September too so, to avoid knee skidding into ‘Overwhelm City’, my own self development habits are something I’m working out more and more to keep those soul muscles strong – us life coaches are figuring it out too, after all.
As I step into my calling of coaching people to avoid the comparison trap caused by social media, more and more each day, I need to reinforce and support my attitude, actions and confidence at this time of extreme plate spinning. That’s why I invest in events and seminars, on and offline, attended and run by like-minded people that have a message to share.
Although my kindle and social media feeds are bursting with high vibing texts that make me feel good and act positively, it’s the face-to-face, interactive stuff which I find gives me an 'uber zap' of nourishment that a book or my feed just can’t.
So, the past 10 days have seen me kick off my Summer School of Self Love. Right up to that wedding aisle I'm reaching out for that ‘uber zap’ I mentioned before and so far it's featured Jo Westwood ‘The Spirit DJ’, ‘Addictive Daughter’ and Gabby Bernstein. Here are my class notes from these special self development voices:
I went to Jo’s Miracles Workshop in London and had the most awesome time. Not only because Jo’s style, tone and message are so vital but also because of the other women I met too. Each of us were going through our own thing but each ‘showing up’ fully to do the work that Jo knew we were open to do.
I couldn’t have been in better company when it comes to a mindset match as Jo kicked off the workshop speaking honestly about comparison and in doing so really poured out her heart and shared her own journey in a beautifully honest way.
She has a way of connecting deeply with her audience and I could totally relate to her experience of sometimes feeling ‘small’ compared to other people doing their thing. And yet, I loved her attitude of just swallowing pride, making connections and reinforcing each other’s efforts which is a key lesson I’ve been learning recently too. She’s living proof that an open heart and good intention produces amazing results and helps drive a spiritual message home to those that need to receive it.
Jo’s next workshop is coming up in October and I believe it has to be experienced first hand to get the full benefit and you can find out more HERE... but I wanted to pass on some of the headline insights she beautifully articulated that really resonated with me:
- There is an epidemic occurring at the moment - a sort of silent shame relating to not feeling fulfilled or that we have enough. And increasingly those that appear to have it all, ‘be going places’ or are living the perfect life (if Facebook is to be believed), are actually feeling weak, vulnerable and that they’re living a lie.
- These feelings are absolutely legitimate and we need to start talking about not feeling fulfilled just as we talk about other taboos or ‘hidden truths’ in society like debt, for example. As I see on a daily basis with my clients it’s easy to get stuck in a rut of feeling ‘OK’ and ‘doing fine’ or being busy and yet this life is intended to be over-the-top-in-your-face-amazing! For all of us.
- That’s why positive disruption is so valuable and necessary to create focus on ourselves so that we can show up when we need to be strong, clear, decisive and a driver not a passenger in our own lives.
- It is necessary, not optional, to dig below the crust that we've grown that is formed of our parent's hang ups, what we were told at school and other limiting beliefs, and get clean.
- As Jo put it: “I’ve had times in my life when I needed me now” and I can absolutely relate to that!
“Nothing is certain and everything is possible” – Jo Westwood
It was clear from the first 10 minutes that these girls, like Jo, have woken up to the unique pressures on influences on Gen Y, just as I have.
Addictive Daughter's unflinching, visceral and honest description of their own addictive behaviours was insightful and at times heart achingly moving.
Let’s get it straight; today addicts are not just those with drug and alcohol dependencies. Addicts are all around us in the habits we adopt to help us ‘zone out’ and distract from reality whether that’s the gym, diets, buying handbags, casual sex, climbing the corporate ladder, getting a boyfriend and so the list of addictions goes on.
And to an extent, we’ve got it twisted BIG TIME because if we spent as much time working on our life’s purpose as we did working on our abs, the world would be a very different place!
As largely over-achievers, Gen Y is trapped in a cycle of chasing the next high, the next bit of recognition for something we’ve done and the validation that we’re doing the right thing. This is driving a paradigm of ‘I will be happy when’ and it just ain’t working as, in the process, we’re missing the now, ignoring what we have, who we are and, ultimately ‘future tripping’.
Addictive Daughter left me with an amazing sentiment from an African proverb: “When you pray, move your feet.”
My takeout was there’s nothing wrong with striving for the best and having massive and deserved aspirations for ourselves but if we’re standing still it’s going to be a long time coming.
She stands on the shoulders of giants but Gabby B is a key player in establishing the self-development world that we know today. She’s cool, accessible, and passionate and she’s BS free in her delivery.
Her Miracles Master class aired online a few weeks ago and I just got round to watching it this week. Gabby’s insights come thick and fast - I’ve collected my favourite nuggets for my class notes below the video, but it’s well worth a watch too!:
My Spirit junkie Class notes:
Get connected to what you want
- In what ways are you not connected to what you want, even if you can’t see it?
- Are you trying to be who you THINK you should be? If so. Stop. If you’re quirky, be quirky. If you’re quiet, that’s OK; Your Subtleness is your truth
- When you’re real you give other people permission to be real and they want to be part of your world. What areas of your life are you not being real?
Make it your own
- We see our future in someone else’s and because we want to step into who they are and what they have, we can subconsciously lift their content or mimic their style - she admitted doing this too.
- So, how do you make it your own? As self development peeps we’re all repurposing the same stuff but how can you infuse it with your own flavour?
Share your story rather than sell
- In Gabby’s career she took lots of little actions that led her to where she is today.
- From 2001 to 2006 she never got paid
- 'Share good shit baby' – good content creates connections
- Your old life got you here and there are learnings and lessons in that
- Use it and own the story – in recovery from drugs? Debt? Financial fears? it doesn’t matter, it’s your story to tell, so tell it
How to handle haters
- I love hearing people’s perspectives on this and my two cents is here
- Gabby B's approach is 'Forgive, delete & keep going' – if they have time and attention to spread negativity on the Internet then say a prayer and delete them
- If YOU love and believe in your message those people that need it, will receive it
- A frame of reference to teach from is needed but where you are now is the perfect place to begin
- Love has become the trend
“If I had to be a master before I taught it, I wouldn’t be here now!”
My Summer School of Self Love continues this weekend with my very own 'Living Comparison Free' workshop in Leeds and next up it's the make a Change Up Coaching workshop run by my friend and super cool coach Kate Taylor and in July I'll canter on to the Blogcademy Mixer with the gorge Gala Darling et Al in London central baby!!
Now, live online and offline events are awesome but I still have my SHELF LOVE condensed into my Kindle:
Of course, everyone will have their favourites rooted from when they first became open to the idea of trying to figure life out, for example, mine are Marie Forleo, Danielle Laporte, Gabby Bernstein and reading The Secret, The Firestarter Sessions and A Course in Miracles are stand out texts for me that started me on my own self-dev journey.
New interpretations of awesome positive messages are available every single day and my ‘must read’ or ‘must check out’ lists are growing and, as these evolve, I’m discovering that ideas find me at just the right time.
So, recently Denise Duffield Thomas has been a big hit to the point I’m in a mini cult with my friends Kate and Nicky! From there ‘DDT’, as we call her, has led me to Gay Hendricks and The Big Leap and so it goes on. When I need direction or encouragement on my own spiritual and entrepreneurial journey, the bricks of the road appear before me through these awesome people and messages.
So, how about you? - How are you dabbling in a Summer School of Self Love? Or have you before?
- If so, where did you start?
- Who are your ‘go-to’s? Emerging and established?
- What events do you have coming up – that you’re running and attending?
- What do you do keep yourself topped up on self love on and offline?
I would LOVE to hear your views below so do drop me a comment so I can add that good stuff to my summer school!
Love Lucy xox
'The Comparison Coach'