In recent years, social media has meant we’ve all been exposed to, and have to contend with, heaps of different sources of comparison in technicolour and real-time. I think it’s a shame that often the resulting jealousy, which is such a great trigger to examine and understand your feelings and behaviours, is suppressed or worse validated. Check out the short video below to gain my perspective on what you can do when you find yourself to comparing yourself to others:
Ultimately, when you compare yourself to others and start to feel jealous, it’s a symptom of an underlying issue of insecurity and fear. The question is, of what? When you can answer that, you get off ‘Jealousy Island’ and get back to your own agenda, which in my opinion is a winner-winner-organic-chicken-dinner! Click here to make a start and download the free anti-comparison action sheet.
Kristin Wigg’s Bridesmaids is one of my favourite movies and in some ways it mirrors that popular expectation that we’ll envy one another’s perfect hair, houses, wardrobes, jobs, work/life balance, cars and relationships.
Indeed recently my client, Polly – who gave permission for me to name check her in this little piece - recently worked through some jealousy in our coaching when her best friend’s promotion in a major fashion house (rhymes with Lada) left Polly feeling that her pal didn’t deserve it.
Jealousy brought out the wicked witch in Polly's personality
Holding up a mirror to that icky feeling of ill will encouraged her to take ownership of her jealousy pangs and forced her to decide what kind of friend she was going to be: the backstabbing frenemy or the supportive confidant. She chose the latter and Polly and her confidence are stronger for it. Her career is also seeing sparks too as she has channelled her energy away from jealousy of others and towards herself.
Polly and I used some of the tools in this free anti-comparison action sheet, which accompanies the video above, and hope they’re a useful reference for you too.
Before we do any judging of those people that we think have it all, let’s just remember you never really know what's going on in someone else’s life. She might be married to a millionaire but could be battling a terrible illness behind closed doors, for example. So it’s important to cut the other person some slack as much as it is to cut some for yourself too!
Let me know about how you’ve experienced comparison in your life and how you’ve over come it? Or, are there some areas where you just can’t seem to stop comparing yourself to others?
Let me know and let’s tackle it together!
Love Lucy xox