This quote is a bit of a showstopper isn’t it?
The judgment of others can play such a big role in how, when and whether we take action for ourselves or not, can’t it? We want so much to get a nod from the people we know, like and/or respect when we ‘go for it’ on some level.
And yet, sometimes people in our circles don’t say those rallying words to encourage us, or don’t say anything at all, when we win.
We might score a promotion, start or end a relationship, create a business or get our health on point and still some people will sit on their hands.
A client of mine has been conscious of this recently as she’s strived to better herself in her work life and is really making waves, but she has been met with a few snarky comments from some of her old school friends – not cool!
It can really knock your confidence to have doubters, critics or silent side eyes from people in your circle and when you are trying to make changes and live free from comparison your awareness is everything.
- If your former BFF uses mean jokes and seemingly innocent ‘banter’ to try and throw you off your healthy eating choices then she’s not clapping.
- If your partner simply won’t let you talk about your long wished for plan to open your own Etsy shop then they’re not clapping.
- If your colleague laughs in your face when you share the thought you’re going to go for the promotion in the overseas office, he’s not clapping.
- If your parents can’t get behind your decision to end the relationship that was making you miserable, they’re not clapping.
It takes guts to step up your self-focus and create the conditions you want in your life and being discerning about the company you keep is a big part in supporting that process. It’s OK to look at managing your relationships in a new way or even having a tidy out.
People come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
…and yet, we’ll always be present with ourselves. So to act in a certain way or make choices in the hope of gaining other people’s approval or applause is not a wise move in the long run.
But here’s a truth for you, if you get clear on what YOU want, when those results show up for you it won’t matter if there’s total silence or rapturous standing ovations. The feeling in your heart and your tummy will ring louder than any sound ever could.
Whether people clap or not, do your best to do your thing which starts with little acts of self service. For example, only go to the parties you know will be a good laugh, say ‘yes’ to unexpected work opportunities even if they come out of leftfield, get a dog, start horse riding again, start that blog and cook that meal from scratch even though it looks tricky.
And if that feels like it’s too much, know that I’m always going to be clapping embarrassingly loud for you (and perhaps ringing a cowbell as well.)
Love Lucy xox