... Often comparison seems to be closely linked to feelings of being in competition, doesn’t it? Whether that’s career progression, happiness in relationships, awesome-ness of holiday, social media reach and of course cash money.
If we could get our heads around the fact we’re linked rather than in competition with each other, my goodness wouldn’t life be easier? That’s the impression I’m getting from the emails and messages I’ve been receiving over the last week...
My blog post “Raw from the reunions” caused a reaction like no other that I’d shared before. It’s clear to me from all the public and private messages I’ve received since revealing the personal story of my Facebook gorging, that comparing ourselves to what we see on social media is having widespread and persistent effects on our sense of self-worth.
It’s also affecting our offline experiences as we block, hide and ignore the people we once were close to because what they’re posting makes us feel crappy...
And hey, I’m a savvy girl that has practiced this too – I hold my hands up!
I have, however, been encouraged recently to see fellow self-dev people start to talk more openly and lift the veil on the shiny exterior that we see. It’s not all green juice, kundalini and mindfulness. In fact for me it’s more like caffeine, walking the dog and binging on Oprah and Gabrielle Bernstein on Youtube - but I am getting there!
When it comes to sharing the not so glossy stuff, I went public with a very personal DOOZY....
Social media is amazing – it helps us keep up to date with daily life, share in the life events of others and have a good laugh at those ‘good idea at the time’ selfies with friends.
On the other hand, comparing ourselves to what we see on social media is driving us crazy! There is a negative side to being social that is creeping up on many of us, in that, what we’re seeing on people’s Facebook, Twitter and Instagram feeds is creating an illusion...
Episode 3 is live! More chat from Nicky at Be Ready Coaching and I to throw into your viewing mix today. Game of Thrones has nothing on us ;-) Lots of practical strategies that you can action today along with us play fighting imaginary haterz - perfectly normal, right?
This one's a bit longer so comes with a side of caoching fires to get your teeth into!:
Generally speaking, self-belief is not a topic that crops up much around boardroom tables, Zumba classes or at dinner parties, is it? And yet without it we’re stuck – spectators in the cheap seats of our own lives. We must, however, each have a bit of it lurking around as we’ve got this far along our own journeys, haven’t we?
And yet, from what I see and hear when I first start working with my Life Coaching clients,
Welcome back to the blog for Episode 2 of Lucy & Nicky's coaching salon. This 5 minute wonder sees us take on a couple of biggy questions relating to strategies, keeping on track and I talk abut my own personal ambition. It can be a bit nerve racking calling out your dream but if I state my intention for myself then I guess nobody else can :) Have you ver felt a bit nervous telling people what you want or what you're going to do? I'm not alone out there am I?! ;-) ...
Hey guys,
I have something a bit different for you today for you to taste from the Proof Coaching buffet. Welcome to the Coaching Salon with Nicky and Lucy!
I first met Nicky Raby during our coaching training a couple of years ago and, over time, we've become firm friends and also shared the experience of setting up our separate Life Coaching businesses...
Would you be up for a 6.45am blow dry every day to start you off, like Anna Wintour?.. OK, perhaps not, but what if you could do one thing to snap into a state of good energy and action and get out of your own way? In this brand new vlog I explain how rituals work, why they can be game changing for you and what you can do to create your own...
Have you ever been in that situation where you're sharing some good news with someone and they totally rain on your parade when they should be high fiving you, buying you a drink or at least getting Ryan Gosling round to cook dinner?
When people aren't happy in themselves they can ‘take a bite out of you’ as, saying a negative comment can be easier than making the changes they want for themselves.
This hot off my Mac vlog looks at 3 tips I recommend to shake off those comments and stop those negative nellies bringing you down. Check it out...
Walking away gets a bad press but let's not forget when you walk away from something you walk TOWARDS something else - control, opportunity, less compromise, space to think and concentrate on yourself and your passions. Just look at Victoria Beckham who's chosen to walk towards her own goals and away from any Spice Girls touring. Hats off to her.
Here's a short video I recorded for you that also contains a super exercise to work out if it's time for you to walk away...
In recent years, social media has meant we’ve all been exposed to, and have to contend with, heaps of different sources of comparison in technicolour and real-time. I think it’s a shame that often the resulting jealousy, which is such a great trigger to examine and understand your feelings and behaviours, is suppressed or worse validated. Check out the short video below to gain my perspective on what you can do when you find yourself to comparing yourself to others:..
I started writing this piece a few months ago but it’s been much longer in the making as it’s a conversation theme that I hear crop up again and again.
As any of my blog readers and Facebook likers will know I have a lot to say about the tricky traps of comparison whether that’s on social media or in the offline i.e. real world. There are all sorts of obstacles created by comparing ourselves to others and one of the things I’m passionate about is helping people jump over or through these.
This interview has a strong equestrian flavour but the lessons and insights are truly universal and apply to anyone who’s ever had something not work out as planned and could use some advice and motivation around how to stay focused and keep going forward. Success is, after all IMHO, a work in progress. (Easy come, easy go – right?)
My guest for this interview is Nicole Mills from Nicole Mills Eventing, the 2* International Event Rider...
As you'll know if you're a blog regular here, I have a fair bit to say about the tricky traps of comparison and I was recently invited to contribute to VOIX - the global youth magazine to share an opinion or 12!
This time I turned my typing to social media and asked "Is your social media newsfeed a 'bruise feed?"....
Whenever I see ‘New Year New You’ I roll my eyes. It seems to be everywhere in January and it feels so empty and unoriginal. It’s a bit like ‘We’ve got Christmas all wrapped up’ that you see in the shops in the festive season. Major yawn.
Random brands, adverts, magazines or programmes have no business, nor any right, to be declaring that this year, or any year, should involve us cutting ties with who we are and, more specifically, who we’ve become.
Hi guys,
As I highlighted a bit earlier today, when I talk about my ‘Oprah experience’ I have to pinch myself to believe it actually happened however, I learnt so much about myself in the run up to the experience and the actual shows, that I wanted to share my story.
Ultimately, it came dangerously close to never happening - I've written a bit about this but do scroll to the videos below if you're feeling keen and can't wait! ;-)
If I’d dismissed sending a tweet because ‘why bother? It would never happen to me’, well, it wouldn’t have happened to me! It has made me look at taking chances in a totally different way i.e. now I do it all the time because the thought of missing out gives me the shivers!
I have long been a fan and a follower of Oprah and have loved her philosophy and delivery of ‘Living your best life’ across all of her programming whether that’s in developing your spiritual side or just eating well. (You may have even experienced me having a ‘What would Oprah do moment?’ when I’m feeling a bit stuck!)
Her story is one of the most inspirational and motivating things you’ll ever read and so for me there’s never been any doubt as to why her unique ‘Oprah-ness’ has led her to be hailed as the most influential woman of her generation (Life magazine) or ranked top of Forbes 100 list of the World’s most powerful celebrities. You get the gist – I have a lot of love for this lady!
With this in mind I had been following many of the Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN) programmes on Twitter as I’d particularly enjoyed ‘Oprah’s Life Class’ and how it had reinforced my spiritual awakening and intention to lead a more mindful, conscious and grateful life.
…So when I saw a tweet from Oprah’s Life Class asking for feedback from International viewers I was quick to click. After filling out the form I forgot about it and felt good that I’d been potentially useful in giving my view.
... She wanted to hear more about me and what I enjoyed about Life Class. She also mentioned some up-coming shows and asked if any of the topics sounded like they rang a bell and ‘Having hard conversations’ was definitely one I was keen to ‘tool up’ and improve on.
Then followed a number of Skype conversations with the HARPO team and to my delight I was invited to take part in the show as a Skype guest dialling into the studio where I was asked to prepare a question for Oprah and her additional guest power house Iyanla Vanzant. It was amazing to get to speak to them and hear their perspective on my question around ‘How to have a difficult conversation’:
How to Turn a Hard Conversation into a "Carefrontation"
Iyanla Vanzant says a hard conversation doesn't have to be confrontation. Instead, think of it as a "carefrontation." Watch as Iyanla explains the four main outcomes you want from a hard conversation and how to overcome your fear of having it.
Following the appearance on that show I was invited back for two more shows. One of which involved me opening up about an experience when I felt insecure because I was comparing myself to others at a school reunion. I was really nervous and a bit embarrassed to lay my soul bare but, hey, I’m human and ‘when you know better, you do better!’ This show was amazing in driving home that we are each responsible for our own lives!
I hope this answers a bit of the ‘Oprah intrigue’ created on the About Me page of this site and that you’ve enjoyed the perspectives shared by Oprah and Iyanla.
I never in my life would have imagined I’d have the chance to speak to Oprah and when she said my name it felt like an out of body experience. But it wasn’t. It happened. I made it happen. And if I hadn’t clicked on that tweet it would have passed me by!
I’m a really strong advocate of Life Class and would recommend it especially if you’re up for understanding more about how you think and feel, or if you want to advance your spiritual discovery. With this in mind, as a final little dessert to this blog piece I’d like to share a couple of my very favourite films from the Oprah’s Life Class site:
When People Show You Who They Are, Believe Them
After a few relationships gone bad and more than one night waiting by the phone, Oprah learned the hard way that if a man shows you he's untrustworthy, believe him the first time. Watch Dr. Maya Angelou discuss this important life lesson with Oprah.
How to Give and Receive Positive Karma
How do you stay on a path of positive karma? Watch as Oprah and director Tom Shadyac help an Oprah's Lifeclass viewer learn how to manage the negative people in her life and figure out who she wants to be in the world.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this trip down my 'memory lane' guys and thanks so much for all your encouragement and interest in this amazing experience - if you have any further burning curiosities then please let me know!
Love Lucy xx
It’s really important to me that this blog is a place where I share not only thought leading views and practical advice on how to handle what life throws at us, but also, that it’s a place where I can share my own opinion and experience too.
Every so often these things combine in a very special way, such as, when I was invited to appear on three Oprah’s Life Class shows where I got to converse with Queen Winfrey herself and also gain, first-hand, some amazing insight and advice around my own behaviour and perceptions.
Later on today I’ll be posting video clips of the shows I appeared on so you can also access those enlightening perspectives Oprah and Iyanla share and also a couple of my favourite Oprah mini-films relating to Karma and ‘If someone shows you they’re untrustworthy, believe them the first time.’
I'll also explain how the hell I wound up on the shows which is a typical example of implementing a 'Why not try?' approach to what you want.
Thanks guys and catch you back here later!
Love Lucy xx
The most important thing to keep in mind is that your sabotaging behaviours are not who you are! If you are taking a look at yourself, you are in the minority and are obviously willing and able to make profound changes in your ways of relating.
Do you sometimes find that you sabotage yourself in your work or your relationships? Have you wondered why you tend to do or say things to throw yourself off track even when, on the surface, things are going well?
Your fears or resistance to taking positive steps in relationships might be triggered by a number of things, such as:
When it comes to the topic of self-sabotage and relationships, Margaret Paul, Ph.D, and bestselling author has provided some fantastic insight that I’ve used to support and facilitate life coaching with my clients that are working towards improving relationships or moving on from break-ups. Today's free tips download is based on her wealth of ground breaking work so do take a look and digest the ways you can eradicate the behaviours that are slowing you down.
Let me know what you think guys!
Love Lucy xo
A big thanks to Buzzfeed for providing the links to the gifs for your delectation. Source is here: http://www.buzzfeed.com/katieheaney/24-signs-dating-isnt-for-you?bffb
Another day and another free Life Coaching tools giveaway - whoop, whoop!
Well we're on Day 2 of the New Year and if you're like me you will have made some resolutions around cutting down on the booze and making some healthier food choices.
And again, if you're like me, it won't be the first time you've had these intentions and yet for whatever reason, unfortunately, the lifestyle change hasn't quite gone to plan. If we challenge ourselves to reflect on what got in the way of our goals we can often explain these away with perhaps being 'too busy', 'having a bad knee' or 'the gym is too expensive'.
The truth is however, a bit more brutal, in that, we had a role in self-sabotaging our progress and there might be a habit of these behaviours if we look back on our actions - or lack of action - over time.
Well, this PROOF4U frees download giveaway is about getting aware and creating a clean slate and breaking the cycle of self sabotage when it comes to your diet or lifestyle choices. I wanted to share these specific tips as I've found them tremendously useful as they are really practical and grounded in objectivity.
So, take a look at the free download and let me know what you think and which of these Top 10 can be an extra support for you as you aim for the best you can be in 2014.
Love Lucy xx
(Image Credit: http://paulzii.tumblr.com/post/1590765602)
